Gregor Samsa

Biographical Information
Gregor Samsa has been dubbed by critics as among the blandest authors produced by the Daria community, his stories rarely daring to challenge convention. This apparent normality appears in sharp contrast to his extraordinary backstory as a young man who awoke one morning from uneasy dreams to discover himself now inhabiting the body of an enormous bug. After adjusting himself to typing with six spindly legs rather than the opposable thumbs he once possessed, Gregor began to generate a steady output of fiction, his oeuvre moving seamlessly from staid comedy to political hectoring. In this he was roundly ignored by the online community, and rightly so. It is believed that Gregor writes as a distraction from the existential horror of confronting his lost humanity. His writings deserve to only arouse pity.

Gregor Samsa currently resides in a Prague apartment with his parasitical family. Gregor's family denies such accusations, insisting that as an insect he is the real parasite, and that besides, they're not the one whining about the days they could walk on two legs.

Gregor was elevated to Angst Lord status by Scissors MacGillicutty for his work on cyde's Out With Her Eyes iron chef challenge.

Fanon and Fan Culture Contributions

 * Being the first non-human to write fan fiction, thereby inspiring a wave of writers that have included such luminaries as Doug the Dugong and Charles the Horned Ibex.


 * Rejecting angst in favor of a new genre of emotionless fiction, personified in such stories as 'Daria Goes To School' and 'Jake Passively Accepts His Life'. Gregor's approach to writing has subsequently been questioned in such essays as 'Bore; What is it Good For?"


 * Successfully referring to William Wordsworth and Sylvester Stallone within a single story.


 * Creating a clever pastiche of Ulysses which without altering a single word of the original text changed its setting to Lawndale. Despite this innovation, Gregor was somehow sued for plagarism. The verdict is presently unknown, with Gregor hoping that his legal strategy of claiming it was all 'a misunderstanding' will allow him to escape punishment.

Bibliography of Major Works

 * Ulysses (with James Joyce)


 * Goes To School''


 * The Cynic Who Somehow Became A Conservative Jerk: A Comedy''


 * The Waste La(w)nd


 * The Love Song of Jake Alfred Morgendorffer

The CRAPPIES Awards
2nd CRAPPIES Awards
 * Biggest "What the Fuck?" Ending (tie) for "To Mother A Morgendorffer"