The Waste La(w)nd

Introduction
Gregor Samsa wrote The WasteLa(w)nd in 2005, and it was immediately recognized as a work of great originality and power throughout those sectors of Daria fandom devoted to poetic pastiche about the Daria-Jane-Tom triangle. But then in a striking act of retroactive plagiarism, an Anglophile bank clerk from St. Louis, MO turned "clasicist in literature, royalist in politics, and Anglo-Catholic in religion," published his "The Waste Land" in 1922, to the acclaim of soi-disant literary modernists who never even saw the butchered version of Daria on The-N.

The current article seeks to establish to creative priority and greater relevance to Daria fandom of Samsa's poem. To this end, we must engage in the distasteful task of a direct comparison between the original and the copy. Fortunately, it is sufficient to examine only certain sections; otherwise, the author's would burst into flames. While this would be a tiny step in the direction of fulfilling Daria's dream of episode 104, the author shamefully confesses that he is not prepared to make that sacrifice for OH.