The Teachings of Don Jake

“The Teachings of Don Jake” was the twelfth episode of the first season of Daria.

Plot
Daria and Jane are about to be reminded of how much a pain in the ass families can be, much to their chagrin. When Jake bursts a blood vessel in his eye after stressing out over the family finances, Helen announces that the Morgendorffers will be taking a weekend camping trip. Daria is pretty sullen about it, until she hears about the "fun" Jane and Trent will be having at the annual Lane Family Reunion; suffice it to say that camping turns out to be the more appealing option (especially since having a root canal sans novocaine wasn't one of the choices). Not unexpectedly, the camping trip doesn't exactly start out with a bang, as Jake's enthusiasm and planned itinerary goes over like a lead balloon with his two unenthusiastic daughters. Jane and Trent don't fare much better, after they inadvertantly insult their Aunt Bernice on the plane, get left behind by that same aunt, and are treated rudely by the by the rest of the family when they finally arrive at the reunion (the aunt who owns the house is snotty and condescending, Uncle Max acts like a drunken fool, and Grandma screams insults in Jane's ear). Morning provides no relief, as Jane and Trent are awoken 7:00am for the family croquet tournament, and the Morgendorffers set out for a nature hike after a Jake-prepared breakfast. Unfortunately, Jake's nature skills prove to be somewhat lacking when he, Helen, and Quinn start hallucinating, thanks to their breakfast of psychotropic berries. Fortunately, Daria had not eaten any of the berries (due to her distrust of Jake's nature skills), and used Helen's cellphone (which she brought despite her earlier claim of wanting to get "totally back to nature") to call for a rescue helicopter. Back at home, Daria relays the tale to Jane, who (along with Trent) had flown the coop and returned early because they couldn't stand it at the reunion for one second longer. And to put a cap on the whole experience, Jake gets a $15,000 bill for the helicopter rescue... and promptly bursts blood vessels in both eyes.