Be Careful What You Wish For

Two short ficlets by Angelinhel granting the sarcastic wishes of a Daria character. The 'wish' is a line taken from a canon episode of the show. A subtle reference to the two stories is made in the collborative work "Illusions".

Nominated for the 2005 Booties "Favorite Melodrama", "Favorite Jane Story", "Favorite Alternate History", and "Favorite Supernatural or Fantasy Horror".

Part One: Daria
Daria's wish for her family "to do something together, something that'll really make them suffer." is granted. At the suggestion of her English and Self-Esteem Class teacher Timothy O'Neill, she wheedles her whole family into eating at Pizza Forest, a Chuck E. Cheese-like kid-oriented resturant complete with waiters in costume forcing patrons to join in sing-a-longs.

As they exit the resturant after an uncomfortable and grating meal, a drunk driver careens through the parking lot as Daria's family walks to the car. In an attempt to save Quinn, Daria's parents also end up in front of the speeding vehicle and they are all killed instantly. Daria the only survivor, can only stare at the mangled remains of her parents and sister, her wish for them to suffer together granted.

Part Two: Jane
When Daria and Jane discuss holidays and the subsequent family trauma that ensues, Jane states "The more debased they [the holidays] become, the less reason to celebrate them, and the less reason for my family to get together, until presto! I'm finally alone on Thanksgiving with a TV dinner."

Set post-high school with Daria off at Raft and Jane waiting until the next semester to go to BFAC, Jane remembers her long-ago comment, as it is the day before Thanksgiving. Ironically, she is by herself, her siblings long since moved out (save Trent who is away at a gig), and her parents having left together for a job in Belize that morning. Daria has chosen to remain at Raft for the holiday and their friendship has drifted in the months since Daria has left.

Jane recieves a letter in the mail, one she always half-expected and dreaded. Her sister Penny Lane, known for her sojourns in poor countries, has died, and the letter was sent by the local government to the next-of-kin. Upset by the news, Jane turns on the tv, only to see a local news report of a murder-suicide in the town where her sister Summer Lane lives, the family described chillingly similar to Summer's. Immediately following that story, the newscaster announces the crash of an airliner on it's way to Belize, unfortunately the same one Jane's parents were on. Frantic, Jane tries to call her sister Summer, only to be connected to a police officer, thus confriming her fear Summer's family was the one depicted on the news. On the verge of a breakdown, she tries to call her brother, Wind, to find his number has been diconnected.

Desperate, she calls Daria at Raft, breaking down and telling her her whole family has just been killed in a bizzare series of events. Daria hangs up, thinking Jane is joking and trying to guilt her into coming back for the holiday.

The phone rings again and, thinking Daria has realized she was telling the truth, Jane answers. It is a police officer calling to tell Jane her brother Trent has been killed in a car accident while on his way back home.

Ironically, earlier that day, Jane had discovered the only food in the house was a frozen turkey tv dinner, thus her wish to be alone with a tv dinner on Thanksgiving has been granted.