What I Think About Valentine's Day

What I Think About Valentine's Day was an editorial by "Philosopher and former TV star" Daria Morgendorffer for The Huffington Post, "as told to" Glenn Eichler. This was the second time he'd returned to the character for an article, after "Daria Morgendorffer's Greatest Retail Regret".

Daria recounts her feelings about Valentine's Day and other holidays, reveals that she has a current boyfriend, and also gives several anecdotes about her childhood: being five years old and booing at E.T. when the alien comes back to life ("that's the only birthday party I remember being invited to as a child") and spending every May Day by slamming her parents' door open and yelling "MAYDAY!". ("Then I'd consult my watch to see how many seconds it took my father to realize the bed hadn't been hit by a German torpedo and it was okay to crawl out from under it. Man, that never got old. Unlike my father, who for some reason seems to be aging prematurely.")

Surprisingly, Daria is in favour of Valentine's Day for three reasons:

a) She's fine with other people being sappy if they really want to be

b) She also likes how the holiday causes anxiety for people, as "it can't hurt for Americans to be reminded once a year of their basic lack of eloquence".

c) She especially likes the 15th of February when all the Valentine chocolate is on discount.

Extreme trivia
Daria refers to CVS when she talks about the discount chocolates. Because some states don't have CVS at all or don't have the CVS retail outlets, we now know that adult Daria doesn't live in Alaska, Arkansas, Colorado, Idaho, Oregon, South Dakota, Utah, Washington, or Wyoming.

Don't judge us.