The Daria Database



The Daria Database was the second official Daria paperback book. It was written by Peggy Nicoll and published by MTV Books and Pocket Books in November 1998.

The book is similar to Beavis and Butt-Head's EnSUCKlopedia, most notably in that everything in the book is in alphabetical order and there are little notes at the top half commenting on the articles.

This book followed The Daria Diaries, and was published in the same year. The in-universe gimmick is that Daria is compiling a computer database of the people she knows.

Both the look & age of Kevin's parents and DeMartino choking Kevin appeared in Database first and then subsequently appeared in season 4 of the show, when Nicoll had become story editor. Mack's hidden bitterness about his life, introduced in this book, would be a running gag on the MTV Daria websites.

Features

 * Guide's to the Morgendorffer's communication via post-it notes on the fridge, the state of their medicine cabinet (masses of stress medicine for Jake, aging products for Helen, cosmetics for Quinn, a solitary toothbrush for Daria), and the weekly budget (Daria spends little and keeps the rest in the "Montana cabin fund")
 * Family portraits for the Taylors, the Griffins, the Thompson's, and the Landon's.
 * The full text of O'Neill's pep talk from "Fair Enough" and Quinn's essay in "Quinn the Brain"
 * Photos of daily life at Lawndale High for students and staff
 * Daria's list of excuses to get out of doing things and Quinn's list of excuses to get out of dates
 * A (failed) party trick by Kevin
 * Lawndale High's staff room and the office spaces of several teachers within it (the dartboard has a photo of Ms Li, covered by a photo of Kevin)
 * Jodie's bitter first draft for a summer school, and Mack's desperate attempt to find good things to say about Kevin at a Lawndale Lions function (Kevin's speech about Mack is highly inane and confused)
 * New Year's Resolutions by Jodie, Mack, the Morgendorffers, Kevin, and Brittany
 * A letter from Bones Medical Teaching Supplies to Daria, a recurring customer ("I finally finished my Christmas shopping"); a letter from Brookside Rest Home, where DeMartino is briefly staying, to O'Neill; a letter from Upchuck to a book publisher, trying to pitch to them; a fan letter from Angela Li to Texas Governor George W. Bush; Janet Barch's chain mail about sexual harrassment
 * A pamphlet for Teen Anxiety courtesy of Lawndale Dermatological Associates, which mentions how school counsellors care so much they forsake higher paying jobs and so have to make ends meet "writing a series of insipid "advice" pamphlets" (the final section is entitled Get Over It). She's been given this by Dr. Davidson to deal with her rash from "Ill"
 * A letter and questionnaire from Xanadu ("Professional Couples Counseling") for Jake from Helen. Xanadu warns that marital strain "can affect job performance, which in turn can knock you write off the fast track at the office - so your marriage is worth saving!".
 * A guide to clubs at Lawndale High (and Daria's excuses to Helen for doing none of them)
 * Quinn's Baby-sitting Spreadsheet, listing the phone access, TV, food, and house decor of all families. (She hasn't noticed Mr O'Conner is lusting after her)
 * The Three Js "Quinn Central, Reconnaissance Room" where they try to keep track of Quinn and lovingly preserve items Quinn borrowed off thjem (and then broke)
 * Fashion Club internal documents
 * A time capsule left by Lawndale High
 * Sick, Sad World's guidelines for pitching stories
 * Tour stops for Mystik Spiral's Carter County tour, including gentleman's clubs such as Jug-ya-Lug Lounge, Pasties & Spice, and Big Butts, and various run-down dives like Skunk's and 15 To Life. Map and fan-club letter written by Danny Moreno, Jesse's younger brother.
 * The objects under Jane Lane and Trent Lane's beds, including Trent's Fetal Metal CDs and an "autographed" Willem de Kooning photograph Trent gave Jane for her birthday (which Trent misspelled); a list of things their parents need them to do while they're away, like pay the bills for everything, turf off squatters in the basement, and cook in the kiln while the oven is broken
 * Various works of art by Jane
 * Emails to Daria's various pen pals, in Australia, Russia, Zimbabwe and, in the case of Rhonda, Kinsington Prison; also emails between Kevin and Brittany, except that Brittany sent hers to the wrong address and ended up talking to a (creepy) stranger
 * Brittany's annotated copy of cheerleader etiquette
 * Excerpts from Andrea's webcomic, "Gothic Nights".
 * A brochure from Jim's Paintballing Jungle
 * A menu from Chez Pierre
 * Middleton Musings, an alumni publication from Middleton College announcing Jake and Helen Morgendorffer's 23rd wedding anniversary. (They were in the class of 1972)