Beavis and Butt-head issue 27
Beavis and Butt-head #27 was the April 1996 issue of the Beavis and Butt-head comic. The strip was written by Sam Johnson and Chris Marcil, with Rick Parker doing art and lettering, with colours by Rob Camacho; Glenn Eichler was consultant.
The Great Bungholio
Easter has come to Highland, and Mr. Van Driessen is trying to teach the class about the new plants that appear at spring and how Easter marks nature's rebirth - sadly he does this with a pussy willow, causing Beavis and Butt-head to think the rules about talking dirty in school have been changed. Stewart Stevenson says "Pastor Molesto" told him Easter was symbolising the resurrection of Christ, to which Van Driessen says the law prohibits him from teaching that even if he did believe it and to which Beavis thinks Stewart said "erection". Butt-head is liking the way class is going; "about time this class caught up to us, dude". Van Driessen, however, believes that despite core fallacies ("huh huh, phalluses") Christianity has good points like charity, and so he's volunteered the class to help with the Christian Businessmen Association's Easter Egg hunt at the orphanage. Butt-head is horrified: helping people is stupid!
- Daria: By using wax and coloured inks, I've created a pattern similar to the Easter eggs from the Ukraine...
- Butt-head: Uhhh... huh huh... Don't you mean Uranus?
- Beavis: WHOA! She got an egg from her anus?!! COOL!
- Daria: You can't even paint Easter eggs without talking about your butts, can you?
- Butt-head: Uhhh, I think it helps us concentrate on our work or something... huh huh.
The bus drives off to the orphanage, Van Driessen reminding everyone to be kind and understanding with the orphans, who lack parents. Butt-head asks if that makes Beavis an orphan; he responds he has a mother, "she just sucks!!" Beavis then starts chucking eggs out of the bus, so the orphan kids can follow the trail to freedom - he's distraught to realise that means he'd be leading them to school. Once they reach Sing Song Orphanage, Van Driessen starts sobbing over the poor kiddies and Beavis and Butt-head try to cheer up an orphan by telling him parents don't do anything except "hug you and kiss you and take care of you all the time" (this doesn't work). They stand at the back of the volunteers, hearing from Clark Cobb how they're doing the Lord's work ("howcum th' Lord never does his own work?") and hear where the candy to be hidden is.
Being dumb, they hear "candy" and quickly go off to eat it all themselves. However, the candy is in boxes marked "CANDY" and this throws them a bit, until Beavis asks if possibly maybe the candy might be in those boxes. Butt-head remarks that's good thinking, but reads the labels (barely) and grumbles that it's just stuff from Canada. But then Beavis points out chicks come from Canada, so they tear the boxes open and discover "DEAD RABBITS!!", and are amazed that dead rabbits smell and taste like chocolate. But Beavis tears into them and eats too many...
And the Great Cornholio rises again!
Beavis runs amok trying to find chocolate he hasn't eaten (or "TP"), and Butt-head boots him away from the remaining candy, happy in the knowledge that Beavis will get "busted". The sugar-raging horror joins the Easter egg hiding - Cobb saying not to make it too hard as the orphans "get violent when annoyed" - but finding no candy or TP, announces "I SHALL RETURN MY BUNGHOLE TO THE CANDY!" and heads back. Butt-head has just found an Easter Bunny costume there, and tells Beavis that if he wears it, he'll have all the TP he wants. And so, when all the orphans are waiting for the Easter egg hunt, they see the Easter Bunny coming towards them... screaming "SONAVBITCH" over and over in a candy-induced fever, causing them all to burst out crying that the Easter Bunny hates them.
Cobb is alerted, and he turns on Mr Van Driessen, bellowing "HAVE YOU HEARD WHAT YOUR SECULAR HUMANISM HAS DONE?!":
- Van Driessen: I'm sure we can come to some mature and... adult s-solution...
- Daria: I wouldn't worry about that, Mr Van Driessen... I've thought of a trick, instead...
- Beavis: (tapped) Someone has touched the Great Bungholio! Do they have candy?
- Daria: No, uh... sir... but I know where you can get some.
- Beavis: ALL MUST PAY TRIBUTE WITH CANDY TO MY BUNGHOLE!
- Daria: Yes... well, follow me... (leads him to a hutch) Here you'll find lots of people who are just as smart and talented as you are...
- Beavis: My people will find CANDY... and TP!! HIPPITY.
- Orphan: Why did the bunny go back in the hutch?
- Daria: It's really not a hutch. It's more like a jail for bad bunnies.
- Orphan: Is the bunny gonna get out in time for Easter?
- Orphan 2: Is he... d-dead?
- Beavis: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
- Daria: No... he's not dead. He's just very, very mentally sick...
The kids are upset... until they hear the egg hunt has started. Meanwhile, Butt-head decides to find Beavis so he can beat him up for eating all the bunnies. He runs into the egg hunt and, after hearing they come from the Easter Bunny, realises they must be rabbit turds and he can track them to Beavis! He starts stealing all the eggs from the orphans for this mission ("This is almost making Easter cool!") and is annoyed when he finds out he wasted his time because Beavis was just in the hutch after all. In said hutch, Beavis has returned to normal... and when he wakes up to find he's hot, feels "fuzzy" and has "stuff" growing from his head, suddenly thinks he's dying. After a fever fantasy (featuring nurses claiming "Damn! I was all set to do him!"), he busts out and runs for it, hoping to find those nurses before it's too late!
Butt-head saves the day by ripping the bunny costume off him - "WHOA! ...you cured me, dude" - and the two decide to eat the eggs Butt-head collected. Butt-head notes these eggs taste real good, and someone should sell them as a food. Just as they're noting this was a fun outing, Clark Cobb arrives; he forces them to glue the eggs they ruined back together as punishment, to teach them "the true meaning of Easter". Beavis wonders what that is, and Butt-head grumpily theorizes it's "don't eat the eggs"...
- "Naughty Nancy" Poletti's Nasty Letters, the fan mail section (Nancy Poletti being the current editor; all pages at this point were named for her). Yet another letter suggests the lads should go after Daria because "she'd probably give you some". Oh dear.
- Sam Johnson and Chris Marcil were not only writers of this comic, they wrote episodes for the show too and are also responsible for five episodes of Daria and the pilot. In this issue, Daria gets in a notably Daria-esque putdown.
- Daria faced the Great Cornholio before, back in "The Great Cornholio".
- This is the most effective and proactive Daria's been in the run, almost a trial run for next year's "Daria Triumphant" trope in Daria Season 1.
- Daria having good art skills was also part of "The Invitation", but would never really be seen again (as that was Jane Lane's shtick.)
- This is also the only comic appearance of Cornholio, though "cornhole" apparently was a big no-no with Marvel (though "son of a bitch" is fine?).