Cassandra

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who lives in a pineapple under the sea

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A minor character present in the same ninth-grade classes at Highland High as Daria Morgendorffer, from the Beavis and Butt-head show on MTV. Her Gamertag is xXSniperFuckSolovairSordidXx420BlazeItDocMartens. oiuhnu8yutyfhhujhnvhuiyjhvbhkkjhgbvnjhjgbnuihjgbnjiohnb njb njb bjhiub vgyuhb vhy8hub hyub bhyb bhy8b bhuib bhn nbhj n nuhn bbnhuj bbhjn bbhyhb bh vbnhb nju bjnibhn buj8ijn uhbj njhb nj nijn kmn ;llokmn,lkoijn ,lkonm ,.lkonj kmnj blkmn ,;lknm m,nm,jb nmb m,bnm,pbnm,.pkon ,moiub mibv mkbv nmkoiuhb nmklgvyb

Physical Description[edit]

Ninth-grader Cassandra is thin, of average height or taller. She wears a long, shapeless blue dress with a pocket on the left hip, and Doc Martens of medium height. She has a high forehead and long straight brunette hair kept pulled behind her ears (brown, not auburn), with looks that could be described as plain but not unattractive. Her glasses have round or oval lenses (the shape changes from scene to scene). Sometimes she sits with her knees far apart as if unaware or uncaring of how she looks to others. Her voice is soft but has an odd monotone quality. In "Wall of Youth," she is shown painting script letters on a poster left-handed. However, in "Animation Sucks," she is writing with her right hand. The fact that she can write with both hands might indicate some lesbian tendencies. She also is shown to enjoy killing people with her Doc Martens. What I say is what I say, and what I say is Cassandra is a girl. And that is why she is a girl.

Her glasses make her look like a fucking alien. I mean seriously, you can shapeshift anything you want, and the first thing you demonstrate your powers on is your fucking glasses? Bitch, please.

Also, that face is seriously unsettling to look at face-on. Watch "Wall of Youth", "Butt is it Art", or "Animation Sucks" for example.

Her Doc Martens are literally the only redeeming quality about this girl.

Get bent, Cassie. Get bent.

For fuck's sake, she looks like she is having the hardest time in the world.

The first time she does anything, I want her to get the CEO position at Solovair and stop your Doc Martens propaganda.

You can spread it, shape it, cut it, paste it, bop it, 𝑭𝑼𝑪𝑲 𝑰𝑻.

Personality and Interests[edit]

Cassandra is bright but quite unlike Daria in personality. Cassandra is emotional, open, and pleasant, smiles a lot, and has a strong creative streak. Her artwork tends to be symbolic and nature-connected in a hippie sort of way, dealing with issues of life and death. The poetry she writes ("Wall of Youth") is darkly romantic; in one example, she writes a poem about a girl who has an affair with an honors English teacher who drowns in a boating accident, leading the girl to drown herself at the pool where the two lovers met. Cassandra is not sarcastic or cynical, being more like Amanda Lane than either Jane or Daria. Her monotone voice (done by Tracy Grandstaff) is reminiscent of that of Sandi Griffin but is friendlier.

In a nutshell: she's a fucking badass.

It appears that Cassandra was intended to parody New Age or modern-day hippie philosophy. She is affable, accepting to a fault, soft-spoken, sensitive, nonjudgmental, caring, cooperative, agreeable, and kind. She is oblivious to the cruder elements of Beavis and Butt-head’s behavior and occasionally even offers them advice. Interestingly, she is never shown communicating with Daria in the Beavis and Butt-head series.

However, she is more human than human. Ya know why? The Doc Martens, for one thing. She is often at odds with her dad, ready to fuck his ass at any moment or turn him into Ragu with her Doc Martens.

In the B&B episode, “The History of Women,” Cassandra says in a class report that she admires the singer k.d. lang, which has led some viewers to suspect she has lesbian tendencies or else is just so accepting a person she doesn’t care. The latter is more likely true. Her teacher, Mr. Van Driessen, thinks highly of her and believes she will go far in life.

As part of a class project shown in the episode, “Animation Sucks,” Cassandra creates a cartoon of a flower blooming and then dying. Afterward, she remarks that seeing her work brought to life in animated form was “so powerful, so enormous, so brief, just like my father.” This remark is not explained and Mr. Van Driessen, taken aback, moves quickly on to other matters.

Cassandra also appears in the B&B episode, “Wall of Youth,” in which she is oblivious to the advances of Butt-head and talks instead about her art project (see above).

Where the girls are pretty, this is not.

Cassandra in Daria Fanfic[edit]

It is very rare to see Cassandra in any Daria fan fiction. It is even rarer to find her with a speaking part, as she appears in several Highland-era fanfics saying nothing. One of the few examples of a speaking Cassandra would be the opening scene of Napalm Kracken’s “Daria Disenfranchised II,” set in Highland during Daria’s freshman year.

A notable exception is "Coming of Age" by Deep Metal, which crosses over Beavis and Butt-head with Daria and gives Cassandra a prominent role.

Note: Several other characters in Daria fanfiction have been given the name Cassandra, possibly leading to some confusion (see Cassandra (On Guard)). Sandi Griffin is sometimes referred to as Cassandra Griffin in fanfic, "Sandi" being a shortened form of her "real" (fanon) name.

Oh fuck.

FUCK IT[edit]

Go die in a fire, Cassie. (Although, I sorta want you to stay because of your Doc Martens.)

External Links[edit]