Jake Morgendorffer: Difference between revisions
→Jake's website
Charles RB (talk | contribs) m (→Background) |
Charles RB (talk | contribs) |
||
Line 145:
==Jake's website==
As well as a website for his company, Jake has [http://web.archive.org/web/20010618200709/http://www.mtv.com/mtv/tubescan/animation/daria/hompage_060999/dynmaic.html a personal homepage, Dad's Dynamic Domain]. He's using it to try and get in touch with other Buxton Ridge alumni (to see if they're also screwed up), and you can download Jake's Pasta Tips.▼
▲As well as a website for his company, Jake has [http://web.archive.org/web/20010618200709/http://www.mtv.com/mtv/tubescan/animation/daria/hompage_060999/dynmaic.html a personal homepage, Dad's Dynamic Domain].
H"ello! I'm Jake Morgendorffer. When I'm not busy consulting with leading multinational corporations and local business visionaries, I like to relax at home with my wife, Helen, and two teenage daughters, Daria and Quinn. There's nothing like a quiet evening spent watching TV or reading the paper while they do whatever it is they do. Besides parenting (on those rare occasions when my wife lets me, ha ha, kidding, dear), I also like to cook, do the Jumble, and wonder if life is going by faster than it used to."
"Click here for my pasta cooking tips: the result of years of experimentation. (Not that I have time to putter around the kitchen these days, being so in demand for my consulting services! Hey, is that the phone again? Gotta run!)
"Call me at my office number: 555-6676. I'll probably just be sitting around tossing balls of paper into the wastepaper bas- I mean, I'll squeeze you in somehow!"
He's using it to try and get in touch with other Buxton Ridge alumni from 1950 to 1960: "I am trying to locate alumni. This is not for a reunion; I just want to find out if it screwed you up as much as it did me. We can swap memories of heartless parents who shipped off their own flesh and blood to be "cared" for by cruel strangers holding guns." You can also download Jake's Pasta Tips.
[[Image:Jake's site text.gif|thumb|200px|]]
He also has a page on [[Broodbeat]].
His consulting company [http://web.archive.org/web/20000817201918/http://mtv.com:80/mtv/tubescan/animation/daria/hompage_060999/index.html also has a website]:
"Hello! My name is Jake Morgendorffer. I have over 20 years of experience in consumer motivation, market research implementation protocol, and direct mail couponpack composition. Need marketing advice? My one-man operation keeps your costs low. You won't be wasting money on fancy penthouse offices, extensive support staff, or extravagant expense account meals. Or a decent coffee maker. Or a computer that can go for three minutes without crashing. I even use both sides of the paper when photocopying. When the damn "factory refurbished" copier works. "Like new" - yeah, right.
"If you hire me you will get personalized service - the kind you won't find at some huge downtown firm with a boardroom table bigger than my so-called office "suite." Do you think there's someone over there who has the time to listen to you go on and on for hours trying to decide whether your logo has enough "oomph?" Who will sit quietly while you burst his eardrum screaming about a typo that caused fifty percent of your sweepstakes mailing list to win Grand Prize? (And by the way, it was the printer's fault.) No, damn it! They would never put up with that. But I will be happy to do so. "Be your own boss" - yeah, right.
"Let me share my knowhow. Drop me a line. Anytime. Please."
''JAKE MORGENDORFFER CYBER-CONSULTING''<br>''A division of Jake Morgendorffer Consulting, Inc. Halcyon Hills Corporate Park, Building G (the L-shaped one)''
==Fanfic Portrayals==
| |||