Kevin Thompson: Difference between revisions

2,101 bytes added ,  11 years ago
Line 65:
==Kevin's website==
 
At school, Kevin had a website (actually made by [[Todd K. Feichmann]] - a "character page" on the original MTV ''Daria'' site - called '''The Kev Zone''' ("we put the www in awwwesome!"). On his website, he included dating tips, a "cyber challenge", and a link to the [[Pigskin Channel]] website. Copies of old versions, like [http://web.archive.org/web/20000902103318/http://mtv.com/mtv/tubescan/animation/daria/hompage_kev/index.html the 2000 spring version], are on Wayback Machine.
 
The website exists because: "My dad says I need a skill besides building can towers, because after last weekend's game he doesn't think we should count on that football scholarship. So I told him I always wanted to learn to play the bagpipes but I guess he didn't hear me, since he got me a computer and a chair that goes up and down instead. Oh wow, it spins too!"
 
Kevin'sAnd dad thenhe paid anthis antisocialguy nerdTodd calledto come over and help me make a web site. [[Todd Kwears a baseball cap with an alien face on it and has a big butt. Feichmann]]Not that I notice guy butts, no way. In the shower I just stare at the tiles. Uh, this is making me uncomfortable. Anyhow, Todd went away to makecollege itwhen forhe was 14 but then he cracked up and now he builds robots in his Mom's Kevinbasement. "He told me computer code is made up of X's and O's just like football plays. I think he was trying to buddy up to me because then he asked if I could fix him up with a cheerleader like I'm David Coppertone or some other miracle guy. Anyway, I hope you like my web site and come back soon. Although it probably won't change much once Todd goes home."
 
Anyway, I hope you like my web site and come back soon. Although it probably won't change much once Todd goes home."
In 2000, he updated the website to promote a "[[Carter County]]" fantasy football website that Todd had set up - not noticing that the website is openly insulting him (and all other football players), that Todd added a reference to Brittany cheating on him, and that it boasts"destructive viruses, and annoying clone bots for you to download". Kevin explains how fantasy football works: "My fantasy football team is kind of like the imaginary friend I had when I was little (his name was Sporty and he was always sticking lima beans up my nose) except there are more of them and they don't hate my Dad. I miss Sporty. I wonder where he is now?".
 
Here are '''Kevin's Dating Tips From A To B:'''
 
Here are '''===Kevin's Dating Tips From A To B:'''===
 
"I'm the QB and I knows the score. Get it?
Line 97 ⟶ 96:
 
10. DON'T keep bringing up that guy Fabio and his bosoms like you can't get the image of their firm amplitude out of your head."
 
===2000 update===
 
In 2000, he updated the website to promote a "[[Carter County]]" fantasy football website that Todd had set up - not noticing that the websiteTodd is openly insulting him (and all other football players), that Todd added a reference to Brittany cheating on him and made fantasy-Kevin rubbish, and thatboasts itof boasts"destructive viruses, and annoying clone bots for you to download". Kevin explains how fantasy football works: "My fantasy football team is kind of like the imaginary friend I had when I was little (his name was Sporty and he was always sticking lima beans up my nose) except there are more of them and they don't hate my Dad. I miss Sporty. I wonder where he is now?".
 
Kevin's promotion went like this:
 
"The first time I told Brittany I was spending a lot of time playing Fantasy Football she slapped me. So I explained all I meant was I like to make up imaginary teams for make believe football leagues, and it has nothing to do with daydreaming about naked cheerleaders doing pyramid formations. But then I started to think about naked cheerleaders doing pyramid formations and I guess I got a funny look on my face and she slapped me again.
 
Now I'll have plenty of time this weekend to check out player stats and injury reports and make trades and rethink my roster and order an apology bouquet from 1-800-GROVEL.
 
My fantasy football team is kind of like the imaginary friend I had when I was little (his name was Sporty and he was always sticking lima beans up my nose) except there are more of them and they don't hate my Dad. I miss Sporty.
 
I wonder where he is now?
 
When I first got into fantasy sports I used to play in leagues based on the NFL, or NCAA conferences. But now there's a new fantasy league that's about what I know best: Carter County High School Football! Did I mention that I'm the QB?
 
See, this kid named Todd K. Feichmann who helped me with my web page last year decided to put his smartness to non-nerdy use to start the league. And he only charges $29.99 to join: he says he needs the money for something called a particle decelebrator. Some kind of fancy vacuum cleaner, I guess.
 
Anyway, I'd really be kicking butt in the league if only I hadn't picked myself in the first round of the draft. I would trade myself now but no one wants me. I throw too many interceptions, sometime I get confused and call out phone numbers instead of plays, and I keep tripping over my laces (can't I remember to doubleknot?) I suck, I suck, I suck!
 
Maybe I shouldn't have drafted me. I guess football is kind of like dating: sometimes you choose the most obvious person under pressure and then you're stuck with them. At least that's what I heard Brittany telling the other cheerleaders. Then they all looked at me and shook their heads."
 
==Kevin in fanfiction==
1,105

edits