None in the Family, Parts One and Two were written by Kara Wild in July and August 1999 and are the seventh and eighth installments of the Driven Wild Universe. Like most other installments, they are written in quasi-script form with three Acts apiece and commercials.
- In None in the Family, Part One: The Old Man, the Morgendorffers visit Helen's mother, Evelyn Barksdale, for her 50th wedding anniversary, even though her husband has been dead for 12 years. There, Helen and her sisters, Rita and Amy, endure comments from old neighbors who knew them as children, until one story pushes Helen too far, leading her to blow up at Jake. Inspired by photographs of Charles Howard Barksdale, Jr, Jake pushes back... in front of everyone.
- In None in the Family, Part Two: Unmasked, Jake tries to parent Daria and Quinn by himself, until his daughters call in the Guptys to heal his rift with Helen. Meanwhile, back at the Barksdale residence, Helen and her sisters reflect upon their relationship with their father.
Although this two-parter introduces Charles Howard Barksdale, Jr, he would not appear in the flesh until the flashback episode, The Age of Cynicism.