U. S. History

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Daria is an Oliver Stone fan.

U. S. History is an episode of Beavis and Butt-head which aired on November 20, 1995.

The episode starts immediately with Daria standing in front of Mr. Van Driessen's history class. In context, it becomes clear that she is giving a report on the assassination of John F. Kennedy. She is standing in front of a chalk-drawn diagram of the relative positions of John F. Kennedy and Governor John Connally of Texas which shows a curving path passing through both chalk figures. She uses a pointer for emphasis.

  • Daria: "...and when this magic bullet went into the president's chest, it had to make a sharp turn in order to exit his body from the neck. Then it would have had to turn right, then left, and somehow have enough energy to hit the governor in the front seat. Clearly the assassination was a conspiracy."

Van Driessen congratulates Daria ("that gave me chills") and the rest of the class on their excellent oral reports. (Which brings laughter from Beavis and Butt-head.) The only students who haven't given their reports are Beavis and Butt-head, and they are told that if they give no report they will have to repeat the ninth grade. Due to their idiocy, they think this is a desired outcome. Daria is forced to clarify matters.

  • Daria: "You guys'll never graduate."
  • Butt-head: "Uh...never masturbate?"
  • Daria: "Graduate. It's when you're all done with school."
  • Beavis: "...um... you mean, like, school ends?"

Van Driessen further explains that graduation means never attending school again. They finally get it and both are eager to give their oral reports - and start fighting over who gets to give it first. Beavis wins the fight, but being incapable of preparation or rational thought is clearly stalling for time. Van Driessen becomes impatient, but Beavis tells the story of how he and Butt-head went to a fast food restaurant - and learned that you can look at girls from their reflections off the polished surface of the windows. The end.

Van Driessen says it's the worst oral report he's ever heard and asks what it has to do with American history. Beavis states that since it happened the previous week and since the events took place in America, that it counts as American history. For Beavis's dishwater-thin effort Van Driessen gives Beavis a D-minus...and Beavis's academic career continues.

It's Butt-head's turn next. His report is about when he kicked Beavis in the gonads and he passed out all day. Van Driessen sighs and appears to throw in the towel - he gives Butt-head a D-minus. Butt-head's final conclusion? "We're gonna graduate."

Trivia[edit]

This is one of Daria's main memories of the duo, in "Beavis and Butt-head are Dead".

Daria shows her morbid interests and interest in shocking people, not seen in Beavis and Butt-head since "Sign Here" but common in her show.

Whether she believes the conspiracy theory (so even Daria can be dumb!) or is trolling Van Driessen is not clear. In "Boxing Daria", Daria says she wrote violent revenge fantasies at age 15 to get a reaction from people so this could be another such attempt at getting a reaction - a failed one, as Van Driessen is happy with the report.

This is only one of three speaking parts for Daria in 1995, though she has a significant non-speaking bit in "It's a Miserable Life". After that, she only gets a role in two episodes in two years - a contrast to eleven episodes across 1993 and 1994. In 1995, MTV was already at work on Daria's own show and in circumstances that had annoyed Mike Judge (who felt MTV were deliberately leaving him out). Either reason may explain Daria's drop-off in appearances (though she continued to be a regular in the comics).