Water Safety

Water Safety is an episode of Beavis and Butt-head which aired on April 7, 1994. The credited writer is Don London.

Daria and the prospect of doing mouth-to-mouth on Butt-Head.

Synopsis

At Highland High School Natatorium (swimming pool), Coach Buzzcut is teaching a number of students about basic water safety. Beavis and Butt-head have made sure that they're standing behind girls, so they can stare and huh huh huh over their butts, causing Buzzcut to demand what their problem is: "Uhh, I can't seem to take my eyes off this girl's butt, sir." (The girl quickly walks off) The lads do start to pay attention to their teacher's lesson, noting with interest the doggie paddle ("doggie style?") and floating ("he's a floater! Uhhuhuh").

Later, Daria is floating in the pool; Beavis starts singing the Jaws theme, only to go mental halfway and try to do a heavy metal version of it:

• Daria: "Shut up, Beavis."
• Buzzcut: "THANK YOU, MS MORGENDORFFER! NEXT: BUTT-HEAD!"

The coach calls for Butt-head to show his mastery of floating, but can't see him... until a happy Beavis points at Butt-head's drowned corpse and cackles "He's over there!". Buzzcut orders Beavis to go save his friend's life; the lad agrees until he finds out the water's "too cold!", and has to be booted in... where he promptly drowns too. Coach Buzzcut springs into action:

• Buzzcut: "Ms Morgendorffer! Please commandeer my clipboard and whistle!"

Daria looks with stunned horror at the drowning scene.

Buzzcut dives in and yanks Beavis and Butt-head out of the water, with Butt-head spluttering to life as he regains access to oxygen. Once they're safe, the teacher screams at Butt-head to explain his behaviour: "Err... I was dead?". (B&B start to laugh at the idea one of them was dead) Buzzcut demands why Butt-head put his life and career at risk ("I can't swim?"), and finally demands about his disregard for Beavis, asking if he gives "a rat's ass about the safety of your closest companion?!". Butt-head thinks this over and answers: "No." (Butt-head and Beavis laugh about this)

It's decided that the class needs to learn basic life-saving techniques like CPR, and the lesson is moved to the nurse's office... where the lads are strapped down to tables, as they've "volunteered" to be used as CPR dummies. Daria sums up the feelings of her fellow students:

• Daria: "Oh, gross!"

The disgusted students are asked for a volunteer, and Stewart Stevenson is forcibly put forward for it; one look at Butt-head, and he comes close to vomiting. A girl named Kimberly is "volunteered" next, but B&B flirting with her drives her far away, and she claims she has a doctor's note exempting her from "emotionally destructive" activities.

Buzzcut snarls that he's disappointed by this response, and that he'll personally show everyone the correct CPR technique. A horrified Beavis and Butt-head protest "NO!!" and try to escape... but there is no escape...

After school, the lads are washing their mouths out with drain cleaner, which they hear "kills millions of germs on contract!", while Buzzcut brushes his teeth & gargles while repeating "A MARINE CAN STAND ANYTHING!!!" over and over...

Trivia

Daria is drafted by Buzzcut.

• This episode has not been collected on DVD, and likely never will be.

• Daria - and the rest of her class - are distraught at Butt-head's apparent death, most likely because they see it happen. In "Beavis and Butt-head are Dead" because of hearing about it rather than seeing it happen, neither they nor she will give much of a crap.

• There is no explanation how Butt-Head got into the water at the opposite of the pool without anybody noticing. Butt-Head is unable to be completely silent so they at least had to hear him while he made his way over.

• Since he's handing his kit to her, presumably Buzzcut thinks Daria is the most sensible student present.

External Links

Beavis and Butt-head and Daria essay by CF