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The Big Wedding (as 'Lyman Moneychanger'): Difference between revisions
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A hyper-OOC
To see if this were so (and also as an excuse to write an 'over-the-top' parody of shipper fics, Brother Grimace took on the pseudonym of [[Lyman Moneychanger]] to write the fic - and as expected, recieved more responses to that one work than from all of his other works '''combined'''. Included in those negative comments were
Brother Grimace considers the death
==Comments
*''Please, Die.If you are gonna write something incoherent, then dont write. The world will be a better place then.''
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*''Ummm...I'll try to be nice and give only constructive criticism. Everyone was out-of-character. Daria is not the type of person to twirl around in front of a mirror. Aslo, neither she or Jane are so mushy as to tell each other "OH, I love you too." That's what's so cool about them in the show. Thye don't need to say it because they already know it. They were just totally out-of-character. The Fashion Club is not going to go up and hug Daria. They would probably refuse to attend the wedding. Why would Daria even invite them? They haven't ever been her friends. And both Trent and Tom were seriously out-of-character too.
*''You had plenty of dialogue, but a story should be more than just dialogue. You need to convey feelings, what the characters are thinking and feeling, etc. Also, from what you said about Jane being 'the best artist at Lawndale High,' I'm assuming that during this story that they are still in high school. Daria would never get married during high school. She's sensible. She would, at least, wait until she graduated from college and got herself settled down in the 'real world' before saying 'I do.' I suggest actually watching the show to observe how the characters really act.''''
*''Wow. Somehow you've managed to put crap into words. Why the hell did you even write this?? It's obvious that its horribly written. Stop writing poorly written fanfiction for your own sick entertainment. Do something helpful for the world, like donating your computer so that the world may never have to read this crap again. If your trying to be funny, your not. Are you craving attention? Did your mother never hug you? Did your dog die? Be maturer, and if you can't become maturer, then at least act it. Writing something just to piss someone off is seriously pathetic. Now go delete this story and kill yourself. -Peace out, Terra.''
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*''wow that was the worst story i ever read, u should never write again, and i am trying to be mean. Unless you are going to write something that accually is good''
*''OMG! That is so horrible! How could you do that? Ok, apart from the ending, which was absolutely EVIL (and very OOC), please please please write with better syntax? Please? Reading that was pretty close to torture, and I've read some pretty bad stuff. I got really confused within the first 3 sentences. Oh, and also, remember to capitalize Trent's name every time you type it please! I know thats just a little thing, but it makes such a big difference! Also, what is up with Tiffany running to give Daria a hug? She doesnt run anywhere! Anyway. Other than the plot, the characters, the syntax, the setting (where was it supposed to be anyways? You never explained that), and I think i ran out of elements of the story, so yeah, I think it's safe to say this just sucks. It looks like you wrote it in about 5 minutes and then just posted it. Please take more time and actually read over what you've written before you post it! That way you won't get any more reviews like this. It'll also make the universe a safer place for those of us who cannot abide with bad writing.''
*''My 3 year old cousin writes better than this maybe you should pay attention in your ELA class and pre-write before you post. -dramatic sigh as the puts her fist through computer screen because of this dumb story-''▼
==External Links==
▲*My 3 year old cousin writes better than this maybe you should pay attention in your ELA class and pre-write before you post. -dramatic sigh as the puts her fist through computer screen because of this dumb story-
[http://web.archive.org/web/20130702193146/http://www.outpost-daria.com/fanfic/the_big_wedding.html 'The Big Wedding' at Outpost Daria] (via Wayback Machine)
[http://www.fanfiction.net/r/1082385/ Reviews of 'The Big Wedding' at Fanfiction.Net] (bring body armor before reading)
[[Category: Stories|Big Wedding (as 'Lyman Moneychanger'), The]]
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