Father Jack

Headmaster of Saint Crisaunt School in the Bronx, ??-present. The only known entity to call Jim Vitale by a diminutive: Father Jack calls him "Jimmy." Vitale, curiously for him, calls Father Jack . . . well, "Father Jack." Or simply "Father."

He shares one trait with Vitale: smoking wherever it is not permitted, although he smokes unfiltered cigarettes of an unknown, and likely undistinguished, brand. Otherwise, he is quite polite, even deferential to most people, with a tendency towards pedantry. He has a vast knowledge of literature, classical music (meaning art music in the European tradition, not the music of that tradition's classical period), and philosophy, especially (and surprisingly) Anglo-American analytic philosophy. You'd think a Catholic priest would specialize in Thomism.

Wait, is he a Catholic priest? He sure looks like one.